Non-existent clothes: wave of the future?

“Contactless fashion.” It’s worse than you think. Get a load of this. A fashion company called Tribute Brand has a small selection of bizarre looking garments. One of them, the “Zezy” blouse, costs $699. It is available in two colors—red and Neo green—and can be purchased from and delivered to anywhere on the planet.

That’s because the shirt doesn’t physically exist. As Tribute Brand explains on the Terms and Conditions page of its website, “Customers will receive a digital product (photo they have uploaded, with the digital garment fitted to it).”

That’s right—you’re buying the image of a shirt, which Tribute Brand superimposes onto an image of your person. Then you can upload the photo of yourself to your Instagram page to show your flock of followers how good you are at wasting money. God forbid you buy something tangible (I mean, there are excavators for sale, for instance).

And lest anyone suspects you of only pretending to spend $700 on a mirage, Tribute Brand also delivers “a digital certificate of authenticity as a proof of owning the digital product.” Phew.

This has to be taken from a dystopian sci-fi novel right? Afraid not. Tribute Brand appears quite serious:

“We strongly believe that digital clothing is the future we should embrace. With no need for physical deliveries and production, it is available without restrictions for any gender, sex or size.”

“By influencing the users to transfer their identity to virtual area, this platform aims to change their behavior to act sustainably, leading to decrease of the demand, consequently production and usage of physical clothes. We aim to improve the societal impact of the fashion market, making it more accessible and fairer, and aspire to change behaviors in an only fully sustainable way.”

And if we’re to believe the company’s website, people are buying this stuff. Three of the cyber clothing products—an asinine pair of blue trousers, a green monstrosity of a jacket, and something that looks like scraps of garish wrapping paper—are apparently “sold out.” How it is possible to sell out of a digital image is beyond me, oh my brothers, but then lots of things are these days.